It's the End of the World...Again.

We're going to press early here at Skewed - releasing some new goodness four hours early. Enjoy the treat!

According to this story, we might all be incredibly screwed today - I didn't say it was cheery goodness - just new.

Here's why we're doomed this time:
August 22 marks the holy day on the Islamic calendar that is the day of reckoning for Shiites. Some Shiite sects believe that August 22 could correspond to the end of the world. And just today, after much hype, Iran has announced that it will continue to develop its nuclear program. To followers of Iranian President Ahmadinejad, this is a well-timed affront to Israel, the United States and the world. The United Nations had given Iran until the end of the month to respond, but Ahmadinejad had made it clear to all Iranians and the world that he intended to respond on the eve of August 22.

So the gist is that, well, everyone in the Middle East is either really pissed at us or really pissed at each other or really pissed at somebody else. They're pissed, really pissed. Pissed to Biblical proportions you might say, and they might try to start something today - or end it, as the case may be. Mind you - if this does happen, Skewed has some serious egg on its face.

But otherwise, we're going to run with it.

I remember when Y2K was the end. Yes sir, those computers were going to kill us all just because they all thought it was 1900. Then it didn't happen. Then I thought that June 6, 2006 was the end of the world. You know, that wacky 6/6/06 thing? Then it didn't happen. Mostly because people are idiots. Talk about anti-climatic. Honestly, it's getting difficult to keep up with these things - seems the world is due to end every few weeks now. If only they could hold off a little longer, I'd love to finish up my undergrad degree, maybe have a pint with my friends, and a date would really be fantastic. But they won't listen - they never do...

My personal theory on the real end of the world involves myspace. Yep, eventually we will all cave in and sign up - living out our days in front of our monitors while being slowly brainwashed by awful color schemes and horrible emo music. One day, all of our personal information will be looted and then myspace will crash - creating such widespread depression that the world's population will commit suicide at their desks by beating themselves to death with their wireless keyboards.

Sad but ture, and a lot more likely than this tripe.

Seriously, this whole "The World is Coming to an End" thing seems just a little bit silly. The earth has existed for a long time - certainly longer than we have existed on it. Now, humanity might end, but I'm quite certain that anything short of a massive impact by some large meteor (or demolition by a Vogon fleet to make way for a hyperspace expressway) and the earth will still be here after us. Not that this matters much for us, we're kinda screwed in the whole thing - but nevertheless - the thought is somewhat comforting. No?

The irony is that we're the ones doing it. Through politics, war, or religion - or the Kool-Aid mix of all three that everyone seems to be sipping these days - we convince ourselves that the world is going to come to an end, and that there will be some kind of massive Judgement Day. This seems to be pervasive throughout most religions and I - as a practicing Laid Back Methodist, never quite bought it. Sure, we all meet our own personal end at some point, but I just can't picture God calling time on the whole game, lining us up one by one, reading off our list of good and bad deeds, and deciding our fate. Seems counterproductive - and boring. Though if it happens, both Skewed and I will have some serious egg on our faces.

But otherwise, we're going to run with it.

Of course Iran is acting like the bratty kid in the back of the car on a long family vacation; bitching and whining about wanting a nuclear program that for some reason, we're not allowed to look at. Ever see that episode of COPS where they bust down the house next door to the house where the actual bad guy is? I don't know about you, but I'm starting to get that kind of vibe about Iran... and of course this screenshot from a speech the other day does nothing to lessen the creepy feeling I get whenever I hear the words "Iran" and "Nuclear Program" in the same sentence.

Not that many people on this side of the pond are making me feel a whole lot better. Take Jihadwatch.org for example. Have we gotten so paranoid that we now need a site to monitor jihads? Seriously people, I'll pull some Izzard in on this one - most Muslims aren't having a jihad every other bloody day. For everything else, I'll refer you to Carl's fantastic post on how whacked out the world is today - he knows way more about this subject than I do and I just can't top his tapestry of valuable knowledge, cohesive comprehension, and obscenity.

It also seems that every article has to have one dipshit fear mongering quote and baby do we have a doozie: "The only thing we can know is that the date was not chosen by accident. It does seem very likely, very probable, that he [the leader of Iran] has something major in mind, whether only a major announcement or a major attack, we will soon see."

Great, so anything from a birthday greeting to a full "balls to the wall" nuclear attack is on the menu for today - I feel better already.

It is at this juncture that I would rant about the need for greater understanding between cultures, or lament the inability for human beings to get along, or I would try to remind everyone of how really really big the universe outside of us actually is. But instead, I'm going to shrug, throw my arms up, and say, "I just don't get it anymore." Because, honest to God, I really don't.

At the end of the day - this world is essentially in the hands of these guys - and it's running about as smoothly.

Now, knock off all of this apocalypse nonsense - you're freaking out the neighbors.